first crash.

Many of you probably know about my beloved bike Tiffany, she is pink and has pink streamers and prompts random pedestrians to comments on how cool I look when I shoot by on her. Well today tiffany is in the bad books, I'll tell you why:

Yesterday moring I was riding tiffany to work at 7am (had ridiculous start time of 7.30am) It had been raining during the night so the morning was crisp and the pavement wet, this however did not dampen (har) my spirits.

The cafe I work at is on a steep little side street in collingwood. I was on the last leg of my journey down the street towards work and I saw my work-mate Jasmine walking up the street. Because I am a CLOWN and an attention seeker I start to ring my bell enthusiasticly at jasmine. She looks up, puzzled. She does not recognize me at first (i'm looking pretty cool in my helmet and glasses) then a wave of recognition passes over her face. At this moment I put on the brakes to pull in to work BUT MY BRAKES FAIL! I am panicked! I have picked up some speed down the hill and am accellerating still. I try to steer the bike off to the left to avoid flying into traffic on the main road ahead but I realise there is nowhere to go. I try in vain to throw myself off the speeding bike but instead of course throw myself and my bike into the pavement at full speed skidding down the hill.

Something many of you will need to be filled in on is that I did not grow up riding a bike through my childhood. As a child I was unreasonably scared of everything (mums fault, overprotective, youngest child etc) and so riding a bike was like riding into the jaws of death for me. Of course this carried with it a huge social stigma and therefore anxiety about getting into situations where people would find out my shamefull secret. In my late teens I decided to teach myself to ride out at mums house in the country where no-one could see...and judge and alas by the time I moved to melbourne I was like every other kid and could ride a bike, hooray!

Because of this I didn't have a childhood of falling off the bike (get back on the bike, everytime someone used this expression it killed a little part of my spirit) so yesterdays spill was my first major accident

just realised the expression is about falling off the horse. Hmmm I did fall off a horse once but that makes this whole entry pointless....

the one that hurt was "it's just like riding a bike, you never forget" anyway...

I have a big horrible bruise on my thigh and down my knee and shin and on my elbow and a big graze over my muffin top (which of course was hanging out at the time) but my most painfull injury is my bung neck which I cant move right, wahhhhhh!!!!

I tried to take a photo of my bruise to share with you all but it included too much unsightly thighness so instead have done an artists re-creation of it.

so yah.